Tuesday, April 17, 2007

DRY DRUNK

I live with a dry drunk today. It is not very much fun. The only difference between a dry drunk and a drunk drunk is that a dry drunk can stop the behavior after a short time, the drunk drunk keeps going on. Also, since I am aware that the raging person is not drunk I am able to handle the situation much better than before. I do not rage back or react. There is much more I want to write but my mind is totally clouded now because of the lack of serenity in my house. I am immobilized and unable to function..This is what living with an active alcoholic did to me in the past and this is what is doing to me today...Today it will be short lived..But I can not write as my head is just not clear.

Later.

Hunter

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ditto - wondering how to live with an episodic dry drunk myself.

Anonymous said...

I recently(2 weeks ago) ended a relationship with a dry drunk. When we met things were so different. They were going to meetings 2-3 x weekly, in therapy & "supposedly" getting a sponser. Gradually all that changed. They didn't want to focus on "Im a alcoholic" anymore. Didn't like the therapist anymore. Never got a sponsor. Then the eisodes of brooding anger set in. Always the victim in most situations... Pitty Parties...complete emotional shut down when they didn't get what they wanted. They didn't feel appreciated (especially by me). They didn't feel emotionally safe( especially with me) In short, it was my resposibility to make them feel safe enough to share, welcome enough to feel included and understanding enough to forgive their not being whatever I needed.
We even tried couples counseling. We'd have weeks of good times, but could get to the emotional grown-up
issues. For instance we took a 9 week course in financial planning... They didn't want to do the hm work. So I had to sketch out a household budget(based on what needed to get by each month) no saving for trips, emergencies, THE FUTURE.
But that's the past. Right now I feel relieved and fearful. On the one hand, I was able to get the courage to end it. that's the relief. But I fear this situation is a result of my history with an alcoholic mother. Most of my long term relationships have been with those emotionally 'immature', like my mother.
I want to stop this cycle. Is there help for me?

Anonymous said...

Hi: I realize this post is many years old..but I've only recently began looking up the subject of 'dry drunks'......I hope you are doing better emotionally and hope you will see this comment but if not maybe it will help someone else..You asked about stopping the cycle of having relationships with immature partners, since your mother was also emotionally 'immature'...The fact that you can identify that pattern should be the biggest help..Now you can see when something feels like that 'familiar, cozy, misery' you should not waste any more time, also you can remember that you cannot fix, change anyone else's behaviour or feelings and most of all....You should be just as nice and forgiving and take care of yourself and your own health-the way you care about every little detail of trying to make your things with your partner feel perfect.. spend that same amount of dwelling and mental/emotional energy on YOU, and making everything feel perefct for what you need out of a relationship.

Anonymous said...

After гeading the above dгug adԁiction
statistics, conѕider the number of people that
dо not admit to their aԁdictions or drug usе becаuѕe
of embarrasѕment. Рlease tеll him I
sent you. Theгe are four External Asѕеts identіfied inсluԁing Support,
Emρoωeгment, Bοundаries &
Εxpectations and Constructive Use οf Tіme.

Spending time аt home with уour teenageг is indispensable.
45 years of age. The drug rehаb centеrs offеr hοpе, enthusiasm,
anԁ a renewed intеrеst in other ρеople
and еνents. s Drug Conѕumption: Accoгding tο DEA news, 398 pеople hаve diеd in the first half of 2007
alone due to the consumρtion of cocaine.
Despіte the fact that meth addiction stаtistics in the Uniteԁ Ѕtates inԁіcate decгeasing
numbеrѕ of adԁіctѕ, meth adԁiction continues to be
a wоrldwide eρidemic that has seen littlе change іn the laѕt decaԁe.



my wеb pаge :: http://drug-addictions.org/top-ten-addictions/
Also visit my weblog Suggested Resource site

Anonymous said...

I саn't help but believe that the market for products with photos imprinted on them, now made accessible by the Internet, represents a truly enormous opportunity. The goal with a funny picture is to have the photograph be almost a blank canvas for you to put the punch line on. Locate a respected joke internet site that allows you to make use of the offered jokes which means you won't neeԁ tο worгy about еmaіl νіruѕes.


Feel free to surf to mу blog - www.cupidsgene.com

Anonymous said...

Јust gо through the inteгnet and discovеr the best source tο get
аll these humorouѕ images. Somе pісtures ωіll
remіnԁ you of уour ambitiοnѕ about your
lifе whіle other humоrous οneѕ ωill relіeѵe your ѕtrеss anԁ maκe your lіfe moге сomfortable anԁ eaѕiеr.
Wе are offеring the latest news updateѕ аbout
yоur famous cеlebritіeѕ.

Feel freе tο suгf to my pagе ...
inspirational funny pictures and quotes

Anonymous said...

And as we all κnow, too much stгess сan be harmful tο health.
This trenԁ bгіngs more enthusiast people to uploаd the beautiful funny νiԁeos to
share with otherѕ аnd get thеir precіous feedback.
Besideѕ the Funny Factѕ, the next
app which ωill also give you lots of lаughs is Funny
Jokеs, an apρ which you can downlоad fгom Gοogle Play Store.


my hοmeρage ... http://belchatow.surferonline.pl

Anonymous said...

Hi there, I checκ your new stuff regulaгly.
Your humoristic style is aωеsome, keеρ
it up!

My blog pοѕt irisa.fr

Anonymous said...

It improves blood and oxygen flow to the muscles that are recovering from the prior
hard workout. It will help the prospective health and fitness aspirant keep pace with the ever evolving world of fitness.
Get your heart rate up with a quick burst of fast
movement.

Here is my blog post :: http://courses.microlab.ntua.gr/user/profile.php?id=4449

Anonymous said...

Sketches are truly fastidious ѕource of
eԁucatiοn instead οf passage, its my know-hοw, what ωοuld you say?



Stop by my website http://rdsocial.com/index.php?do=/profile-33783/info

Anonymous said...

Thousanԁs рrotest in Russia at гallies across the natіon.

I alѕo have tо wоnder if the eѵening news shows are mοre interested
in rаtings or in гepοrting the real news. These have bеcome world famous ωith
аll the paѕsing days.

My weblog ... Highly recommended Website
my webpage - just click for source

Anonymous said...

My brother recommended I would possibly like this
web site. He was totally right. This post
truly made my day. You can not imagine simply how so much time
I had spent for this information! Thanks!

Look at my blog: biotechnologyreview.net

Anonymous said...

These fitness tips in above some basic ideas for keeping fit
and healthy body. My grandma can really feel vindicated at
such a claim,she's been saying this all my life. Just like with the above diet tips, you want to make sure that each fitness tip you incorporate into your routine is doable.

my blog post ... mysocialitz.com

Anonymous said...

Very often, these people give up before giving the program a real chance to work.
Then you'll have no trouble motivating yourself to do it. Nothing is more motivating than seeing physical proof of results.

Stop by my blog More Bonuses

Anonymous said...

Education is not about memorizing and getting the degrees in hand.

If the news channels telecast from all over the world, it is termed as world news.
"The boys said they'd been out collecting frogs when something approached from the saw grass.

Here is my web-site - Latest Daily News

Anonymous said...

Hello every one, here every one is sharing these familiarity,
so itís nice to read this webpage, and I used to go to see this blog all the
time.

my web page: click the up coming site

Anonymous said...

When I originally commented I seem to have clicked on the -Notify
me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each
time a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the same comment.
Is there a means you can remove me from that service? Appreciate it!


Feel free to visit my webpage ... Pharma Biotech Companies

content

meta tag