HELPING OTHERS AND GOING OUTSIDE OUR COMFORT ZONE

Hello from Hunter-

I have been wreslting with how to get my spiritual community to reach out to families suffering from alcohlism or addiction. Outreach to families who have lost a loved one or to people suffering from cancer or other "recognized" illnesses is abundant but illnesses like addiction are often overlooked-people tend to run from them due ot fear or other reasons.

After a year of pushing and going outside my comfort zone to make something happen I was asked to write an article to be distributed to close to 1000 families. This was a great growth experience for me as I am learning how to tap into the leader within me and that in order to be a leader one must stand behind things that impassion them and push until something happens. Debate what will happen, listen and compromise...

Below is the article I wrote. If one family gets help as a result of it it will have made a difference.
If you read this and feel inspired by it please share it with people you know and/or act on some of the suggestions it contains.

GEMILUT CHASIDIM (BESTOWING KINDNESS)
TO FAMILIES SUFFERING FROM ADDICTION AND/OR DEPRESSION
Have you ever received a phone call from a friend or family member just at the right time-either when you were having a bad day or going through a difficult period of time? Did that phone call help make things a bit better and put a smile on your face? This simple act represents one of Judaism's most beautiful traditions: Gemilut Chasidim-"bestowing kindnesses"

Two often overlooked and misunderstood illnesses are depression and addiction. Both carry a social stigma and people who are affected by them often feel isolated and alone. Both are family diseases as the behavior of the person affected by the illness often does not resemble in any way the person we love and care about and there are losses and grief on many levels. Both contribute to isolation and feeling helpless to address the problems. Both often interfere with normal functioning and cause pain and suffering not only to those who have a disorder, but also to those who care about them. Both can destroy family life as well as the life of the ill person. If we know of people in this situation surely there must be some act of gemilut chasidim that we can extend to them.

Sometimes all we can do is pray. Our caring committee offers prayers. We send a beautiful handmade hamsa (healing hand) with the misheberach prayer to people we know are in need of healing and keep them close to our hearts and in our prayers. To take this a step further, if we are aware of a family or individual in this situation a call to ask how they are….is there anything we can do to help are simple acts of loving kindness we, or you, can do. You have no idea the huge difference this simple act of kindness and caring can make. We can also encourage them to contact our clergy- one of whom has training in counseling for alcoholics. They can offer spiritual guidance and direct them to therapeutic community resources.

If you know of someone who is in this situation please let your clergy know and they can contact them in a discreet and private manner. Reach out to them if you know them -- in the spirit of our tradition of gemilut chasidim -- and practice the advice that is written in the Perke Avot (the Ethics of the Fathers) which tells us to judge everyone in the scale of merit, be charitable in your assessment of their conduct, and judge not your neighbor until you have been in his situation.

Addiction and depression affect the young and the old, rich and poor, men and women. Like any challenge we may face, our chances for success are much better with the support of family and community. If you are dealing with addiction and/or depression in your home or family please ask for help.

Our house of worship is a sanctuary. It is filled with peace and unconditional love. It is a refuge and sometimes when it feels like it is too much to just get out of bed, it is a place to come to celebrate Shabbat, work on the many activities we offer, find friendship and fellowship. It is a place for young and old alike and it is always here, waiting to welcome you. You are never alone and you always have family, right here.

Random thoughts on New Beginnings

Hello again from Hunter,

Some random thoughts today. My mom's passing has opened up a new vista and new beginning for me.

I have always been a emotional wreck and the passing of my mother wouldhave in the past sent me into a terrible tailspin of sadness, self pity, and depression. But my mother has an extraordinary spirit. She stayed in her earthly body until things were truly in order and I am experiencing a beautiful peace and calmness since her passing. I know that her spirit is with me and around me, and Iknow there is life beyond death. I don't know exactly what I believe it is but I know it is peaceful and full of beauty..It is in the air taht we do not see. My son says he believes that when our spiriet leaves our body it goes someplace for a while and then gets reborn by choosing a body/baby to go to. This is similar to a buddhist or other Eastern religious concept and it seems to make sense to me...Anyway, I am finding peacefulness and serenity with mom's passing.....and a lot of love.

I am getting ready to start my journey of self care and awareness. I am going to a yoga retreat for a week and getting very excited. Without sobriety in our home I never could leave and coudl not do this. This was a loving gift from my mom and sister and I am grateful and excited.

Mark and I are learning to communicate better. Mostly he i slearning to be honest with his feelings. I am grateful and proud that he is feeling htis way and look forward to a beautiful life together.

OK enought random thoughts. I have to get on with my day. HOpefully Mark can write at some point soon, it has been awhile.

Warmest,

Hunter