Mark alcoholic ,my wife keeps nagging me to blog and I really should do more I have been tired lately and trying to get myself in shape I really must start to exercise this weekend ,I used to be a professional athlete and its time to get in shape no excuses .
I have had an average week still dealing with anger issues as I start to understand my feelings and deal with my past.
I have been troubled this week by 4 relapses, friends of mine have decided to try it their way ,one is in the hospital, the other is riding his bike as he trashed his car drunk and the other two have gone walk about . Some success . I don't have a problem with people drinking its just people like me and my mates, we just cant drink in a controlled fashion. Still its a good lesson I just hate to see the suffering and I feel their pain, boy am I glad that for today I have the program!
The Friday meeting I ran today was fun and we discussed a number of topics ,lying ,drinking relapse laughter ,I have to laugh it keeps me going and we also discussed old behavior . Last night I went outside to get my books for the morning meeting from the car and Hunter told me she had flash backs as to when I used to go outside to get my drinks and pretend to let the dog out.It will take a while for the trust to be built up she is not at fault .
I heard my friend share about his problems with his ex wife and how she uses his 2 year old against him ,I know we are not angels when we drink but that's not the kids fault, and an actor friend of mine in the program is also in trouble with his kids and wife ,that's where our drinking takes us!
I have started to enjoy my prayer and things are very slowly getting better. I find it important to try and get some quite time say the serenity prayer and instead of asking for things from God I just thank him for my recovery and what I have today! I am also pleased that Hunter spoke with my daughter tonight for close to an hour all this is because I have surrendered to my disease ,I am very please she spoke with her and I am sure this will continue as long as I stay sober all is possible.
I am reading the big book again and I must finish my step 4 as I know this will be a great move forward for my recovery .
Anyway I am tired ,I am pounding my meetings and tomorrow Saturday its back at it I must continue this for now in the same way I drank no excuses .
Thanks for letting me share Mark alcoholic.
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