Sunday, April 15, 2007

sober rainy days

Hello, Mark alcoholic ,

I can't imagine drinking today. It's depressing enough without it. I do remember in the past drinking heavily on days like this ,why.

A friend of mine is in terrible trouble. His wife left him , he smashed his car up, drunk of course, and just has not surrendered. It reminds me of how I used to be.

I don't know if I like it when people slip. He has been trying for 4 months and did put 30 days together but lost it, anyway I have talked and told him what I did. I just gave up. My drinking is just not something to mess around with I don't and can't handle alcohol well.

I did tell him that my day counting used to get me down and in fact this time, the only time I have made it, I did not do the day count at meetings. It was too painful to keep remembering. I counted for myself. The fact is it is only today that counts and I don't care how much time you have. Today April 15th 2007 is the first day anybody reading this has been sober on this day!

It truly is a one day at a time program and when I hear such pain from my friend it just reminds how it feels, no more detox for me.

My wife was away last night at an Alanon friend's house. I am glad she had a great time. For me that is a true sign how our family is recovering. I have to be very careful not to romance this stuff. I am as One drink and I am for sure back to were my mate is-home alone, no car, no family, and detoxing. What a horrible life.

Alcohol does not care how we act. Believe me there is always going to be another drunk out there and another liquor store or bartender waiting to sell him or her whatever they want, sober or not.

I am beginning to enjoy life a little more although I do have to check my anger at the door. It is very easy for me to over react. My wife can just sit ,read or watch tv ...me I am all over the place. I guess I should start some kind of relaxation stuff still one day at a time.

My wife rented some funny movies for us-hanging out in bed on a rainy day, sober, with someone who loves me and who I love...what a new and wonderful experience. I want to go and enjoy this and also first call my mate to see how he is doing, so I am signing off for now. That's how it works! Reach out to another alcoholic whenever you can as my friends did to me. And learn to enjoy a wonderful new life sober, which is what is awaiting me.

Thanks Mark alcoholic

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