Patience

It has been a long but great day. I had an all day interview for a dream job at a non-profit. My expereince in the corporate world combined with my "hard knocks" make me a terrific candidate for this position. I kind of feel like I am in American Idol as there were over 100 applicants for this position and only 5 were chosen for interviews. The fact taht I got that far tells me I am a winner! BUT I do need the income and pray I am THE finalist. I won't know if I made the cut until the end of June. Waiting is frustrating but I have no control over this. I have done everything that I am in control of. Patience is necessary.

As for Mark. I am very proud of him working his program and getting to 5 months of sobriety. I am sorry that it hurts him so much to confront his past and feel frustrated for his current inertia in moving forward as a provider. I do my best to be encouraging and to bite my tongue and not say anything that might upset him. He is so sensitive right now that he overreacts to everything I say or do. I have to practice all the wisdom I have learned in Alanon to not react, detach with love, and let things go...how important is it...and gratitude....I am grateful that he is not drinking and working on becoming a good person every day that he is sober....It sounds funny to be grateful for someone not drinking...>BUT for anyone who has lived in an addictive relationship that involved alcohol, or any other substance abuse it is completely understandable.
Patience is necessary......

Mark is doing really well in being honest with himself for the first time since I know him and in learning not to run but to work through it and talk about it...This is such amazing progress and recovery..I pray that he learns to be proud of this and to keep moving forward....Grieving for loss and for our past is an important process in getting better. Mark has never truly grieved over many things that happened to him long before I met him, instead his alcoholism took over...This is a really hard process and he is doing a great job.....Patience is necessary-on his part and mine.

My sponsor has told me throughout my recovery to be patient and continue to do the next right thing.....I have done this and things have gotten better...I also hear her gentle voice, during the active drinking period, reminding me that my husband is very sick and to try and understand...also pointing out to me how I can change my behavior....she has been a remarkable guiding force for me for the past few years and her guidance has helped me understand the need for patience.....

Being patient is really hard. But the best things are always worth waiting for...I know that having a husband who is not drinking and working on living sober everyday was definitely worth waiting for, and I pray that our financial situation turns around soon as we have been waiting.

Tonight I will dream about my day today and the opportunity that has presented itself and pray that all turns out well. As I stated earlier...TO be one of a select few invited for an interview is an honor in and of itself.....Now time to be patient and pray....I hope you all include me in your prayers and that in the future I am blogging about my amazing new job.

So for today the word is patience in all my affairs.

Regards,

Hunter