Mark Alcholic a true story of recovery and my family

My name is Mark and I am an alcoholic. I never thought I would be saying that when I came to America in 1996. I will write my daily blogs about my recovery for the sole purpose of praying that it can help another alcholic -and their families in their journey of recovery. When I write remember I do not use a spell check so forgive the many future errors!there will be many.

I will also write as I go, there is no order to my words remember, I am an early recovering alcholic and as such I am still all over the place., one day at a time! The effect this disease has been devastating to my life and that of my families the fact we are still together and I am alive is a bloody miricle as doctor Bob said in his big book under Dr Bob's nightmare page179( How my wife kept her faith and courage during all those years I'll never know but she did. If she did not ,I know I would have been dead a long time ago . For some reason, we alcohholics seem to have a gift of picking out the worlds finest women). I will tell you more later about that.

Note this blog is not AA sanctioned nor to I wish it to be, however I do owe my life to AA.
This disease is cunning baffeling and powerful . I have heard all the slogans and I did not believe any . I finaly surrendered again almost 90 days ago my exact sobriety date is december 16th 2006 I remember it well as the police were involved and I was detoxing at my home group coffee commitment meeting at 7.30 am what a feeling how many times did I say never again how many coins did I need to add my growing collection?.

I grew up in the UK in what I thought was a fairly normal family what a joke that was . I was to find out over the years that my mother was an alcoholic and my father drank a lot both remain in denial even though my father has had pancreatitas amongst other serious problems.

I am not going to stay in order, this is not a speaker meeting !My father wants to know when I do speak for the first time how much I will be paid?

In the UK it is a very major problem however it is not talked about as much as in the USA remember we brits meet in the pub not in Starbucks!

I never new that alcoholism was a disease ? From my beginners meetings I have come to understand a great deal about the symptoms of the disease- a disease that when I was in the Hospital in 2005 with double pneumonia and serious liver problems with 6 hours to live if I was lucky ! 4 weeks later I was drinking again .

I have done the rehab thing and there are some benefits to rehab but the fact is you one day have to face the real world on lifes terms that's where AA comes in for the daily medication I go to at least one a day. Did I want to in the early days? AA meetings where a great way to get out of the house and drink and come home to a loving wife and tell her how well I was doing in my recovery . I was convinced in the early days that I was the only one that slipped ,over time I realised that even our founder and the early members of AA had serious problems in early recovery.

I became what I thought was a standing joke at my local meetings I was sure people were taking bets on whether I had been drinking or not I guess I just wanted to be the center of attention so I thought by going drunk I would be like the guys in the book after all the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.

I am having trouble remembering when I really started to have a problem with drinking I guess this is where some of my denial kicks in in hind site I lost a marriage ,my house burnt down, I lost a business I created from nothing with $18 million in sales, I have not spoken to my daughters for 2 years ,I have lost great friendships too numerous to mention. So I guess my drinking did start long ago. I remember I used to drink when I was around 14 I have always looked older than my years so I could always get into pubs or by alcohol when I was young. I do remember passing out one new year in the bath tub must have been due to booz.

I was a pro tennis player and soccer player in my youth and have always been in good shape so I recover very quickly when sick great asset for an alcoholic . I remember as I write a guy told me at a meeting in Florida that he thought I would be one of those guys that would not make it great encouragement ! to a suffering AA. They tell me that the success rate is in single digits my plans and prayers are to be one of the winners.Stay with me on my journey and my families journey I promise it will be honest and by helping others I do believe it will help me !