Good morning ,Mark alcoholic.
I have returned from my morning meeting and I am so angry . I am remembering the past and all have lost ,nothing I can do about the past but the past is part of who I am ! and the problem I have is I hate my past so therefore does that not mean I hate myself.
I am doing so well with not drinking but I look at this beautiful day and find myself lost and alone. Recovery tells me time takes time ? their are so many sayings in recovery and I get sick of hearing them but they work .
I did get a good reminder today as a guy came back with 24 hours into the meeting he has been like me struggling terribly ,he wants to get better but he has not surrendered to the disease ,you cannot beat this alcoholism stuff it is to powerful !
SI await phone calls and try as hard as possible to keep up my spirit it is not easy .I just had some reason to smile my daughter spoke with me for some 20 minutes it was wonderful she was loving kind just like I spoke with her yesterday ,she has a young friend suffering from alcoholism and I tried to give some advice not easy when she asked me how much it costs to be in AA and her friend could not afford to join ?
I explained what I could about the program and she will pass it on I hope her friend finds the rooms of AA I can pray for them. It id make me feel great and she is a wonderful girl and I know I will see her soon ,sober and able to be a father once again in the true sense. S I will prasy for a better day and do what I have to do .
Thanks .Mark Alcoholic
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Your wife posted a link to your blog on another site, thought I would check it out. Congrats on what you have done so far. I have been sober 4 1/2 years, took what it took to get me where I am today. Have you finished your fourth step? Postponement is not a good idea, IMHO. Stick with the Big Book for now, don't muddy the water with too many other things at first, like the 12x12. The basic instructions for a sober life are in that book, so re-reading it a few dozen times is a good idea. My wife and I have been married 24 years, she attends Al Anon, I recommend it for all loved ones of alcoholics. Best wishes, Rick
Your doing good so far. It might seem tough now but remember one week turns into two which turns into a month then two. Before you know it you'll feel so much better and get used to life sober. Hang in there, you're family will love you so much for what you are doing, they are proud of you. It's worth everything that you are going through now, believe me!!!
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