Denial and Disease

GOd works in mysterious ways...I just spent over an hour writing a long blog about some important things in our lives and it got completely erased..Perhaps it was too much venting and not enough recovery. So the short version it is.

Recently I have received some posts castigating me for calling alcoholism a disease. This has served to reinforce for me how misunderstood alcoholism is and how much denial there is about alcoholism. I am not sure why the word disease makes people so uncomfortable. If you separate the word by syllables (dis ease) it implies a lack of comfort. I know of no addict who is comfortable when their addiction is active. Also in the big book alcoholism is referred to as an allergy or a malady-both of these terms, if you look them up, are synonymous with disease.

I know in our family AA is to Mark like chemotherapy is to a cancer patient.

Mark is only 100 plus days sober and nowhere near cured...He still has trouble taking care of responsibilities and following through with things and he still rages at me. However, today he is able to stop his behavior before it gets too out of control (resulting in broken walls, doors, windows, etc...) and apologize immediately for his behavior and is learning to express himself by using the words "I feel when you do this that...." He is learning daily new and powerful ways of communication that make a big difference. AND unlike in the past I do not react to his rages or take much stock in what he says when he is raging....Why add fuel to the fire? I am a bit worn out by all the things he says he is doing that don't seem to come to fruition but it all does start with a commitment to not drinking. It is hard for me to keep it simple, be understanding and start with that but I have to. My way of coping is to put most of it out of my mind and focus on me and what I have control over and pray for those things I do not.

For purpose of clarification I thought I would include below the definition of alcoholism from the national council on alcohol and drug addiction http://www.ncada-stl.org/addiction_info/


Definition of Alcoholism:

Alcoholism is a chronic, progressive, incurable disease characterized by loss of control over alcohol and other sedatives.

Chronic - lasts for life - is always present

Progressive - an active alcoholic will continue to get worse� But, if alcoholics remain clean and dry, the coming months and years will bring remarkable and often miraculous improvements in their spiritual, emotional, physical and social well-being.

Incurable - so far, science has given us no cure for alcoholism. Victims of the disease can return to normal life, but only as long as drinking is stopped.

Characterized by loss of control over alcohol and other sedatives - once alcoholics take that first drink after being sober or abstinent, they can't predict with any reliability whether they are going to have a normal or abnormal drinking episode. They no longer control alcohol; it controls them.

Alcoholics have lost control over not just the drug alcohol - for alcohol is basically nothing more than a widely available, socially acceptable, non-prescription and inexpensive tranquilizer or sedative. They've lost control over all other mood-altering drugs as well.

Loss of control is a most important clinical factor. Do they have predictable behavior when they drink? If they do, then they are not an alcoholic. But if their behavior isn't predictable when they drink - if they simply can't tell what will happen next - then the disease has got them in hand.

Alcoholism is a disease. Developing alcoholism is not intentional. Alcoholics today can get proper treatment for the disease. Reaching out for information and help is the first step toward getting well.

Today I pray that those sick and suffering may reach out for information and take the first step toward getting well. I pray that our family continues on its road of recovery and that things continue to get better one day at a time and that God continues to be present in Mark's life and guides him on his road to recovery and sober living, and that he sends me the guidance, love, and strength I need to continue to do the next right thing everyday of my life.

Love, Peace, and Serenity

Hunter