keep it simple

Good Evening from Mark, alcoholic ,

I have not been blogging but I have been staying sober! lots of meetings staying busy and close to the program of AA.

I just came from a speaker meeting what a story. This disease knows know boundaries ! or as the guy said he has an obsession of the mind and an allergy of the body . He mentioned the word disease 42 times in his story and also was very focused on the big book and the solution. I have noticed too many people giving their opinions on recovery. People are entitled to say what they want, but I know the book has, if followed, rarely failed us.

What truly matters is we are not alone and all of us are in recovery and are duty bound in our recovery to reach out to another alcoholic who is still sick and suffering ,that's what I believe.

As I begin on the next steps 4 through 8 I know I will really start to get to know myself, scary but also exciting. I had an amazing experience on Wednesday at business meeting. After half an hour or so the President of the company I was presenting to asked to speak with me privately. I guess to him I was acting a Little on the edgy side. I went into his office and he asked me if I was OK and how much time I had. I said I had planned to be their for two hours he said that is not what I meant, I meant how much TIME do you have ? I repeated myself and he said "I am a friend of Bill's and have 22 years. I then replied 118 days! WOW what a feeling of relief ! Us alcoholics are everywhere .

I have started to try and work on my anger and patience. It is an area I have a big problem with and usually it is me that ends up saying sorry for my actions. I think it comes from me starting to feel my feelings. Still there is no real reason and I will work harder in this area .

I have been sharing a little on romancing alcohol and I am reading a book that is set in Scotland. There are numerous sections in the book that describe in detail big dinners with wine and port after dinner. That was me ! I can't do that anymore and I was thinking that my drinking at that time in the past was not so bad and it was not. The problem was the gradual and then rapid progression that we all know about that got me. Still once in a while I do remember it was not all police cars and problems. Dangerous I know. But I do think if I talk about it that I will not be PICK UP a drink today.

My wife has been great this week we still have our moments that's normal and I am sure as time passes things will improve. I know she has been getting some negative response from our blog recently from people who do not choose to accept alcohol as a disease and have gotten a bit nasty. It gets to her-especially with what we have been through and the numerous clinical definitions that exist. For me its what I see everyday at my meetings. Try getting a bunch of drunks to agree on the colour of a room and if you had 50 drunks you would get 50 colour choices. I don't bother arguing with another AA, I follow the rules and my beliefs ,my way never worked its that simple.

I have started to read on the genetic side of the disease and I will update my blog about this when I have finished. It is a fascinating area. I know my daughter told me she was concerned that she may have the genes of an alcoholic. More later.

As my recovery becomes a new way of living I often wonder what it must have been like in the early days for Bill W and Doctor Bob. Somebody said at a recent meeting that if they were alive today they would deserve the Nobel prize !

I am not a martyr the cause of AA I just am so grateful that I have started on a new life a life that was in tatters and a soul that was empty the new chance to live is a true gift from my God of my understanding. I pray that whoever you are, if you read this your journey in recovery follows the path that I am now on. It is enjoyable and fun. I also pray that my experience, and my families experience helps others on the road to freedom from alcohol.

Thanks for letting me share .

Mark Alcoholic