THE FIRST DRINK WILL GET YOU DRUNK

I JUST LOST MY ONE HOUR BLOG. So good day Mark alcoholic we always say that before we share . I have had a tough week up and down and I am told that is normal in early recovery. It is still very upsetting. I totally lost my program on Thursday and became very angry at home upsetting Hunter and my son. I did become what is called a dry drunk, not much fun, so I did the right thing I went straight to a meeting and shared about it. That day I received 6 calls from guys at the meeting I don't even know. I broke down and cried in front of 50 guys ,that's what it is all about.

I have to be aware of the dangers of the first drink. There will be very hard roads ahead and I am sure I will be tested daily. That's why I have to go to meetings. For me the first drink causes compulsion to kick in and this alcoholic cannot stop.

I never understood the first drink danger but I know I will be back where I started and worse. I must remember where it takes me: hospital ,detox , liver problems, near death experience, and the terrible stress on Hunter and my son.

I have since been to a number of meetings and I ran my first meeting on Friday. It was an open discussion meeting. I read from some AA material and was able to have everybody share who needed to. I can see how getting involved with AA more and more keeps me away from that first drink.

I have lost my train of thought as I lost my blog. I just know that the AA program works and I have fought for too long. My way does not work it is that simple.

I hope that my wife can continue on my journey with me. It is not easy to live with a recovering addict but I believe God of my understanding has a plan for me. I just can't wait to find out and like all alcoholics I want it now. It does not work like that.

I will start my week with a beginner's meeting tomorrow at 7.30am and pray tonight for a sober day and a one day at a time reprieve from alcohol. I also pray that this blog will eventually help another family in recovery for that is its sole purpose to share my experience strength and hope with another family.

Thanks for letting me share.

Mark alcoholic.