the most expensive club in the world for a dollar a day and this is true

Good afternoon Mark Alcoholic .

I was going to focus on the cost of joining AA. My drinking has cost me close to a million dollars over 25 years I was going to break it down and be grandiose but the fact is I must keep it real ,it now costs me 1 dollar a day today it cost me 2 dollars as I was at 2 meetings . Cheaper than re-hab .

Just returned from a step 6 meeting and that is why I want to keep it about alcohol a guy shared about the loss of his son after he was only 8 months sober his son was killed in a car accident whilst drunk and the father did not pick up! this is a true miracle and truly a higher power example I do not know if I could get through the loss of a child without drinking ,I guess that's where AA comes in.

The every day world we live in is full of ups and downs and the easy way to deal with stuff for this alcoholic has always been to drink over it good or bad . I do pray that I have been given the gift of recovery I TRULY BELIEVE MY OBSESSION HAS BEEN LIFTED I must remember at all times when not certain to return to step one. I am as close to a drink as an old timer and my life will be back in tatters if I pick up.Now I know why meetings are so important I really had know clue why I was going and why people go after so long but I am sure if I am prepared to go to any length to get sober for the rest of my life in the same way I would go to any lengths to get a drink then I have a fighting chance.

You know talk about any length to get a drink towards the end of my drinking I was definitely in denial and would do crazy stuff to drink. I would put wine in my sons baby bottle when flying and even when boarding the captain would say that apple juice looks great the baby will enjoy that well I did ! remember when a plane takes of getting that drinks cart up the isle takes time so I was always ready.

The mind of a sick alcoholic is normally that of a relatively intelligent person,intelligent? hiding alcohol in baby bottles drinking from wiper washer fluid into the car hiding booze all over the house and forgetting where you putt it and thinking people don't know . I think we all have stories of hiding alcohol and ways of getting it .

I am starting to wonder as I begin the steps why me ?that's terminal uniqueness it is not just me this decease effects, millions of people I truly believe it will be the curse of the century.

Alcohol is the most socially accepted disease in the world today. You can buy alcohol legally unlike drugs it is every where and is promoted by all the major drinks firms as sexy luxurious and great way to enjoy life . I guess for normal people ,those people out their! that's what we call them ,it is OK to drink normally I remember at a meeting a guy shared that it would be great to be able to drink like normal people a few drinks a day ! normal people don't drink ever day! alcoholics do!

I have had an average day today recovery takes time and patience, not my strong point. My thinking has to improve and I have been starting to read up on meditation and tomorrow I am going to give it a go.

I think that as the big book says that their is a solution all the slogans I guess do make sense the AA way works however I do believe you have to start to practise a new way of living this is a new life and I am starting to believe I have another chance. The damage I have done to this family and my previous life is not measurable the very fact that I am alive and still kicking is a miracle I have to remember what happens with that first drink for me its over . I may have another drink in me but I don't know if I have another recovery? I very much doubt it.

I am doing a few more normal things watching TV and having a family dinner is very enjoyable what is wrong with being normal . Feels a lot better than hiding alcohol, detoxing the shakes ,arguing and destroying those around me that I love and care about that's what alcohol does to me !today I prefer the AA way .

I will add more to my story tomorrow about how I came to America but trust me I was not sober when I came here it was the beginning of the end for me as far as drinking is concerned.

Thanks for letting me share. Mark alcoholic.

I am eternally grateful to my family my wife Hunter !an amazing human being and all my friends in AA without whom I could not do this .