FORGIVING

Good morning,

I am going to keep my blog short as I am limited on time this morning. Mark's post yesterday "The most expensive club in the world" was really great. I am much further along in my recovery from alanon then he is in his AA program and as a result I can recognize his progress and be proud. This morning he went to his usual 7:30 am meeting and came home in a wretched mood...he did not get to share and has so very much going on . He did not want to "dump" on me but he did share. I listened, without commenting or giving advice (something I learned in Alanon) and when he was done I remarked to him how great he is doing with his recovery. I shared with him what I observed, a man feeling his feelings, expressing his anger and frustration and getting it out instead of "bottling it up"(pun intended!). I continue to look for ways to acknowledge his recovery,a s I see that my positive reinforcement goes a long way.

I am struggling internally with the issue of rebuilding trust and honesty in our relationship. I have a lot to say about this but for now I will keep it very short and write more on this tomorrow or later. A friend of mine said she could never forgive a partner if he was dishonest and lied on a habitual basis and wondered how people could find it in their heart to do so. I will say that I recognize the man I love is committed to recovering from a disgusting disease that can only be arrested, not cured. In order to recover he must commit to a program of rigorous honesty. He must learn to forgive himself and God will forgive him. If God can forgive him and he can forgive himself and he can work on being the best person he can be, in God's image, why shouldn't I? I love him and can forgive him, but together we must work on a plan to rebuild honesty and trust in this marriage. We are not yet there and it will take some time...It wears on my patience and I keep quiet about a lot of things. I know that I have to do this today as he is in recovery and can only handle a little bit one day at a time.

More later.

Hunter