enough is enough

I wonder when it will stop . I have been to three AA meetings today one was the first I have ever spoken at ,my home group a speaker meeting I told my storey which I will write tomorrow. I want to spend time explaining in more detail how the day unfolded ,and I will need to finish this tomorrow I am just tired.

I will just list the days events , Speaker meeting 7.30
home for a while
lunch time meeting 12pm
call from wife urgent I get my urine tested ,that's all messed up I will explain more later
5.30 meeting big book for only half an hour
driver education will explain more later
home more aggro I am not handling my anger well but after a day like today enough is enough already.

I know my wife loves me but I need some time to reflect I have to stay sober no matter what and I still am not sure ?she believes it is still very early recovery I have been drinking for close to 25 years I am not going to be a miracle in 90 days I can only do my best one day at a time .So tomorrow I will cover all these new areas of early recover I heard that a guy slipped after 32 years he said he was counting years and forgot about counting days! another member committed suicide after 59 days back this disease kills alcoholics ! we must be vigilant and work our program if we are to achieve another day of sobriety.

I really want to say more tonight but I know it will just make more sense if I get good rest and awake in a better frame of mind .

Mark alcoholic.