A GOOD WEEKEND

I made it through the weekend!I have been to focused on the 90 day thing but have decided to just continue the way I have. Staying away from the first drink is very hard but I am told it well get better. I do not obsess over drinking which is a great step and I always have my meetings and reminders of my past to think about should my mind begin to wonder.

My wife has been terrific I know and realise it is very hard to live in recovery life is not a bed of roses and she has been understanding . I have many character defects to correct and this will take time and great effort . Like most AAs I want full life, recovery and my life back now! It just does not work like that time is a great healer and my partner has been just amazing.

I have been to 3 meetings this weekend a beginners meeting a step meeting and open discussion on Sunday early .It is great to start the day sober and not with a pillow over my head and a hangover . You really can see ;life through a( new pair of glasses )we will add that book to our list for you to read it was very helpful to me.

I Have a lot of damage to repair from my past I have two daughters I have not seen in 2 years a very tough relationship with my direct family and I have lost some dear friends. I have also lost my best friend alcohol ALTHOUGH I DON'T MISS HIM AS MUCH !

Learning to live without mind altering substance in your life truly starts the beginning of getting to know who you really are, we use to self medicate to hide our feelings drown our sorrows and loose our self in an unreal world.

It is very hard for me to terms with what I have done and all I have lost ,but I am an eternal optimist I have to be ,I have to believe that my life will get better ,I have to believe things happen for a reason . I was always and still am a guy with the glass half full only without booze this time.

I am truly tired tonight and will write a full day tomorrow .I go to bed knowing I was given another day free from alcohol and able to function like a normal human being I will say my three prayers and ask God as I understand him to help me continue to climb the mountain tomorrow as I learn to live a new life as a grateful recovering alcoholic.

Mark H.