There for the Grace of God go I

Mark Alcoholic,

Had a good few days because I did not drink. It's amazing how simple it is when you have the gift .I had 5 mates slip in the past few days. One guy was two weeks out of HighWatch , and, just like me, he lost it. I pray he gets back.

The meetings are carrying a new message for me. It's hard to explain but I really am starting to get the full meaning of all the slogans and have great hope. I have added a second sponsor-typical me- grandiose bullshit -got to have more than one.... That's me.

I went to great meeting this morning. A friend spoke. What a story. This guy has a Rolls Royce story but when you end up in a prison cell after a bender they don't care what you do or what you drive!

Today he has the gift, is 15 years sober, and is a terrific guy. It really inspires me to know that this simple program works if you work it.

Hunter has been OK. She did a terrific job today juggling many things working; interviewing for a fantastic new opportunity; being a mum; and cooking and serving dinner at the local shelter for 35 people- I know half of them from from my meetings! I did not want to go tonight to serve dinner but I have done it before and it really helps others as well as me and my family. My wife reminded me that this is a 12th step opportunity. The people at the shelter who know me from meetings had a big smile on their faces and I spoke to all of them. By being there with my family as a happy unit I (and many of them have seen me struggle over the years) I was sharing my experience stregth and hope with them-leading by example.

Many people participate in cooking and serving dinner at the shelter for "brownie points" For me and my family it was different: It was my family helping others and being a living example of the gift of recovery as a family. Talking to my friends was as important to them as it was to me. Unlike others who do this for "brownie points" I do not look down on anybody. I could have ended up in a shelter and my actions almost put my family in one! If I pick up again it well might be!

Today, I do have hope. I am trying to finish my career plans and am expecting closure on a major project this week. I will let you know. I cant do anything if I drink! I must never forget that ever.

I am starting to hear from my father that he thinks my elder brother has a drinking problem. How could this be possible ? What do you think 2 bottles of wine for lunch and 2 for dinner everyday for most of your life is?... You tell me dad!

I can only make suggestions to my father as I do not speak to my brother and have not for some time - due to my problem. I guess that will change in time .

This is how I feel today: optimistic, my prayers may have not been answered but I know they are being heard .

Good night .

Thanks for letting me share .

Mark alcoholic.