Hello Again from Hunter,
I am grieving deeply the loss of my mother. No one will ever hug me again and let me know everything is OK in the reassuring way that she always did. I have a beautiful child and I am lucky that I can give that kind of love to him. I too need that love and sadly I have a husband who is sick who cannot be there for me in this way. He is still in early recovery and I don't quite understand it completely but all his energy goes into him not taking the first drink. I know from my program that I have to let things roll off my back, especially the many unkind and angry words he says and the hyper behavior...it is all part of recovery. BUT I am not a machine and I have feelings. I can only take so much before I explode. I need a bit of love and compassion -I lost my mother. I know that he does not quite understand this as he does not have this kind of close relationship wtih his mother. I do know that if his dad died tomorrow it would have a profound effect on him and it would hurt-hopefully he will have enough recovery under his belt not to drink. Anyway, I exploded yesterday and today. Unfortunately this did not change things....it never will. Today I am going to pray that I can find the right words and behavior to express my needs, my hurts, my disappointments, and I will pray that Mark is open enough to hear me.
Until later.
Hunter
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2 comments:
Hunter, I just found your blog last week, and I've read so much of it. My husband is also in recovery, and I'm a normie. My dh's has several addictions drugs, porn, and food. He's now reached his 13 month of soberity in all 3, and is a different person. I could relate to so much of your story, and see so much familiarity with Marks behavior in early recovery.
Today you touched my heart so deeply with the openess of your grief, at the loss of your mom. I am to close with my mom, and she had a stroke. I can no longer have those conversations we use to have and can not comprehend my dh's recovery or what it is to go through it. I will be praying for you, Mark and your son. You have inspired me and comforted me in many ways and I just wanted you to know that.
Thanks for the tips! Maybe I'll come back to read more comments here.
I'm not a robot. I'm fully aware of my existence and I have no doubts about reality - it does not exist.
In my humble opinion, there's a lot of B.S. on this topic all over the internet. How do I know you are not just trying to sell something?
This page rocks, keep up the good work.
I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse.
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