soften the heart

I am Mark alcoholic,

Not blogged for a while been busy at tons of AA meetings .I am doing well in recovery I have 202 days today !that is the longest I can remember without alcohol in my system.

I have been to a few events as my wife has mentioned and I am lucky that the obsession has bean lifted which means that the compulsion does not get a chance to start this means great things to an alcoholic you see if I don't put alcohol in my system I don't get cravings ,it is that first drink that gets us and we are of to the races .

I have been to a few parties no major problems I have all the tools in place my phone lists sponsor support ,and always an exit strategy !I must have a way out. I still judge people a little ,how can that guy have two beers / why bother ? you see not everybody is an alcoholic!I am learning a great deal about myself it is amazing to truly be born again to get to know myself .I have a great journey in front of me without alcohol inside me I truly believe I can achieve anything ,what I have to remember is that alcohol is everywhere and I have to be very vigilant.

I put so much work into recovery it amazes me how easy it is to destroy it all with the first drink.I have seen yet again more close friends try it ,believe me it was not a pretty sight!.

I am starting to work on my anger issues and step 10 when wrong promptly admit it!. I have to do a lot more blogging tomorrow ,get back into it .I notice a comment on the site about bi polar ,we alcoholics when active have bi polar tendencies but for this alcoholic I believe bi polar means some one in AA who drank at the North pole and the South pole !I am also learning to be kinder and more loving and starting to come from a place of understanding with Hunter she is a great girl!

Until tomorrow and more real stuff.

Thanks Mark alcoholic.