MEETINGS AS DAILY MEDICINE: THE FAMILY PERSPECTIVE

Mark alcoholic,

Good evening all. Three meetings today: first was a beginners meeting discussing the disease, its causes, and the recovery tools; second meeting big book; third step meeting. I guess I am in recovery mode !

I got very concerned yesterday as my mood swings are still a little unpredictable. I am working hard in this area. Hunter is great she is an amazing person. Yesterday my two daughters arrived in Spain to visit my parents for a week and I was asked not to call. I don't want to get into the detail they are there to see their grandparents. My sponsor and my wife tell me that it is not all about me,however I am human and it's tough as I have not seen them for so long and it has been a big trigger for me in the past to drink. However, NOT THIS TIME. This time sobriety comes before everything else.

I pray all will improve in time and I must believe in the promises !

I became very concerned yesterday about going to the beach. I used to drink a lot at the beach either before I got there or when I was there. You see I could get a drink any place any time even when the stores were closed on Sunday. I could go to the beach and being English and very charming, of course, I would always befriend the people on the beach with the big cooler for the day.

Yesterday my wife and son really wanted to go and I did not. I still get very concerned about people places and things I do not want to test myself...it's stupid. Alcohol is everywhere...even at a family beach day! I guess not everybody is an alcoholic but there sure was a lot of drinking going on .My sponsor tells me you must change one thing when you come into AA and that is everything!

I am beginning to enjoy recovery. A mate told me you need to keep going to meetings until you want to go. This is very true as it has now become part of my daily routine and that's just fine. I am starting to feel stronger and a little calmer there is still a huge way to go and tons of wreckage to clear up but I can only have a chance if I stay sober otherwise all bets are of!

I am getting a real sense of wanting to move forward with the steps as I know it will make me a better person and I will start to get to know myself.

I watched a Peter Sellers biography Saturday and he died all be it to young, not knowing who he was and that is exactly what alcohol did to me it striped me of my true identity I was a slave to alcohol and thank God to day I am free ,free to start a new way of life a to really get to know the real me !

More tomorrow very tired .

God bless .

Mark alcoholic.