A FEW INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHTS TO SHARE

Today we had our cable shut off. Our son started shouting how he hated money and how awful it was. I explained to him that it was not money that caused this problem, it was alcoholism and irresponsiblity. I hate having to go through such hard times and being forced to explain things like this because of adversity...His immediate reaction was "mommy, this can;t be all dad's fault". I replied to him that it was not daddy's fault it was irresponsibility and the chaos caused by alcoholism...I too played a part in it as I chose to only deal in a limited capacity wiht things crumbling around me and trusted that it would all end up OK. After being really angry and upset our son asked me if we were going to lose the house....I said that anything his possible. he then asked where we would go and I told him that we did not have to worry about that today and that he did not need to worry about it as I will alwasy protect him, and not that dad is sober and working on his recovery he will as well. He thought for aminute and then asked me a question "mom....did we used to be rich?" I replied yes...before the chaos of chronic alcoholism enveloped our lives we were very comfortable...more so than most families.....and we had the support of my family. We never had that support from Mark's family and no longer have that support from mine.....Devastating what alcohlism does. So this wise beyond his years kid asked another question....He takes Tae Kwon Do and every two months when he passes his promotion test we take him to his favorite restaraunt as a treat....He has been asking to do this all week since his promotion test is today...After processing what is happening to us financially he asked me what he could do to help......I replied that being who he is, staying healthy and making each day the best he can is help enough....He then said..."Mom....after my test today instead of going out to dinner can we have a barbeque on the beach....That would be really special" YES I said....I knew this was his way of helping....finding other ways to celebrate.





There is an email I have seen many times about a carrot and egg and a cup of coffee...Read on.....our son is coffee and I pray that all of us can be.



> -----A Carrot, An Egg And A Cup Of Coffee!> > A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.> > Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.> > In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.> > Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."> > "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.> > Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.> > Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"> > Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the> water.> > "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"> > Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?> > Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?> > Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?> > May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.> > The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.> > When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.>



AND A BRIEF FOLLOW UP FROM YESTERDAY'S POST



Mark continues to be VERY angry. But he is working with his sponsor. It is tough to be around and I must practice detachment with love and all the other tools of my program..Today's reading from Hazelden is below....It is perfect for the events of today and yesterday.

TODAY'S THOUGHT FROM HAZELDEN (www.hazelden.org)

Conflict can produce positive results.If our policy is to avoid conflict at all cost, we may impede our growth by trying to sweep important issues under the rug and refusing to deal with them. The issues don't disappear, however, and by sweeping them under the rug, we make them more toxic and unwieldy.Conflict is bound to occur in any vital, important relationship, and the question is how to handle it. Allowing conflict to be brought into the open usually makes it much more manageable than trying to ignore it. If there's fear of conflict, we're less likely to feel free to be ourselves.When I am willing to talk about what's bothering me, to state my position and listen to yours, to ask for help from a Higher Power, it's very possible that we will reach an understanding that enhances our relationship. Conflict does not need to destroy. Using the Steps, we can build on our differences and both come out stronger.If I find myself in a situation of conflict today, I will try working through it rather than attempting to avoid it.