enough is enough

Mark alcoholic,

I have had another bad day and I am starting to question recovery. I know for sure that drinking is not an option! I was just thinking that I would love to write a commercial for the drinks industry from an alcoholic's point of view. This is the copy:

Want to lose 10 years of your life and destroy those around you? Then Drink This and one day at a time you will achieve your dream!

I know that millions of people can drink normally and don't have the disease I have and that's great. I have to start to get deeper inside my past and discover what has caused me to be so remorseful. There has to be something in my past that added to my alcoholism.

My son just came home so that's a help. I really hate the negative thoughts I am having. I really am a very positive guy. I just am going through hell at the moment,and I USED TO SEE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL AND I JUST CANT SEE IT TODAY.