dont quit

I am not in the mood to do this but I do want to make a few notes . I have had a bad few days questioning recovery and AA .

It really is crazy AA is saving my life and I am questioning it? . I today am enjoying some higher power moments. I wanted to leave a few meetings and have shared my resentments etc . I am now back on track and fully active in my AA program,tomorrow I will speak at a huge AA meeting in my home town ,this I am sure will give me great confidence in my recovery the truth is it really helps to speak to people that all have the same thing in common .

Were all equal in the rooms of AA so it should be fun I will let you know . I will basically cover my upbringing my time in Europe the USA Russia Spain and back to the USA the most important part is to share my experience strength and hope and if I can help another alcoholic just one stay sober for the day it was all worth it.

My wife continues to struggle with me but remains very supportive in most areas frankly I COULD NOT ASK FOR ANY MORE. My son is doing well we had good weather today and I was able to do some baseball practise with him and he kept telling me how great it was that I was a sober dad and to be honest it did feel great.

My story tomorrow will cover my progression my denial and my alcoholism I will try and stay focused on recovery to carry the message .

I am still struggling with life on life's terms but I am a little calmer than when drinking I continue to pound meetings as many as I need I must go to meetings with the same effort that I put into my drinking then I really have a true chance of full recovery.

I hope that my daughters are OK I am trying to build a relationship with them which is very difficult when I am 5,000 miles away and I do know this will take a great deal of time it will not be on my time but on gods.

I continue to pray every night and ask for God's will to be done not mine I hope to continue to build my spiritual side and I must learn patience , time is a great healer.

GOOD NIGHT .

MARK ALCOHOLIC.