Learing from our Past, Putting Things to Rest, and Moving Forward

Hello from Hunter.

The past few days have been draining. I have courageously revisited the life I have lived over the past few years - this time from a place of strength and health. Why have I revisited my past???? To help heal the 1 in 25 children under 18 (25%) who grow up in homes where there is active alcoholism or addiction.

The town I live in is rich. Rich in resources, rich in human kindness, rich in its commitment to helping people in recovery, and rich in beauty. Our son has had the benefit of an amazing school system and school psychologist who have nurtured him and given him the tools to survive and thrive in a home that was run amok from the affects of alcoholism. Our son has a mom who was not embarrassed to let the school know what was happening at home. End result-our son has a voice and knows when he is powerless and when he is not.

By way of example-Mark was having a bad day recently (this happens to all of us and more so to those in early recovery). Mark was acting up and told us that we are going to make him go out and start drinking again. I did nothing as if he chooses to do this I can not stop him and I explained this to our son. Our son looked at me and said "Mom there is something I CAN do and I am going to do it now". He stood up, went to his dad, threw his arms around his dad and told him how much he loved him, how proud of him he is and how wonderful it is that he is sober, and looked at him square in the eyes and asked him to please not drink, and to please continue his commitment to sobriety as he loves his new life and all the wonderful things that are happening now that daddy is sober. SO with that Mark, with tears in his eyes stopped acting out. And with that I became more determined to help other kids learn to manage their lives when all else seems unmanageable.

So what did I do? A friend from NACoA (National Association for Children of Alcoholics http://www.nacao.org/) came to my town and spent 2 days in meetings with me to discuss their programs and the logistics for organizing a run for the children in our town. I told my story over and over again, and even joked with her saying that I have friends in high places-police, domestic violence, DCF, Town Hall, etc...Most of the police in this town know me and my family by face and first name as they have been to our home in the past. They did comment how good it was to see me in a healthy place and that we are very lucky all worked out as it did-it is rare. At Domestic Violence Crisis Center we visited with the counsellor who placed my son and me in a shelter in the past and moderated a support group that I attended. She was shocked to see me and elated to see that my life, my marriage, and my family are happy and healthy. Rarely does she see that kind of success story and most of the time people come in crisis and disappear. BUT this was VERY draining to me at the end of each day. I had succeeded in acknowledging what I went through, shared my experience and recovery, and made a commitment to help others (steps 4-12 in action!).

I am now excited about this project I will be working on and I hope that it will open up some doors for me professionally as well. I heard one thing from the many I spoke to who were there for me in crisis and her again for me to help me help others. All of them said "Hunter, one thing at a time. You are on the right path...all will work out. And in the words of someone who was very special to me in the past "Don't worry Hunter. Life will deal you a fair hand"....I carry those words with me always and think of this person with a smile...
-Hunter

P.S. Mark and I have both not blogged in a while. A lot going on. I will encourage Mark to blog later today.